When Obsessing Over The Details Was Getting In My Own Way
Close-up of style sheet by Pankaj Patel
For a long time, I second-guessed everything.
Was this the right approach?
Would people get it?
Was it good enough?
Would anyone even notice? And if they did, would they care?
I’d pick apart every interaction, every word, every pixel of a project. On the surface, it looked like I was being thorough. In reality, it was costing me time, energy, and peace of mind. It sent me into overthinking loops, strained relationships, and generally made it harder to move forward on anything.
If any of that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And you probably already know it’s getting in your way.
What this was really about
When I looked closer, I realized my obsession with the minutia wasn’t about the work itself, it was about control. When things felt uncertain or unpredictable, zeroing in on the tiny details gave me a sense of safety.
If I could make sure every little thing was just right, maybe nothing bad could happen. And if it did, at least I’d already mapped out six contingency plans.
We all know this logic is flawed.
The harsh truth
No matter how much I prepared in my head, the reality was always different. Messier. But it was rarely as bad as I imagined. And the detailed planning for outcomes that may or may not come to pass was never not exhausting.
This quote sums it up perfectly:
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. While in practice, there is.
What didn’t work
I tried several tactics that seemed effective, but they weren’t long-term solutions and created new problems to deal with (such as bad feelings and chipping away at my self-belief).
What was most insidious is that these tactics did help a little at some point early-on, but I outgrew them. Then I was just doing ineffective things out of habit.
Here is what I don’t recommend:
Beating myself up. Thought maybe I could shame my way out of it. Spoiler: I couldn’t. It just made me trust myself less.
Trying to suppress it. Pretending I wasn’t obsessing didn’t work either. The urge would bubble up somewhere else.
Ignoring it altogether. This is classic avoidance, which I’m quite adept at. The issue is that not all problems are muddly puddles; some are leaky ceilings. Those don’t resolve themselves.
What helped me (and maybe you, too)
These are the small adjustments that made a big difference:
Giving myself permission to indulge, but with limits. If I needed to obsess, I’d timebox it. I’d say, “Okay, you’ve got 15 minutes to pick this apart, and then we move on.” Turns out, even a small container can make a craving less overwhelming.
Getting curious about it. Instead of judging the behaviour, I started asking, “What’s actually going on here? What am I afraid of? What need is this meeting?” That shift turned anxiety into information.
Letting it be big, on purpose. Sometimes, I’d intentionally lean all the way in. I’d write down every worry, every ‘what if,’ every microscopic thing I thought might go wrong. Putting it on paper made it lose some of its power. Once it was out of my head and in front of me, it felt kind of ridiculous and way easier to let go.
Borrowing someone else’s perspective. When I was stuck in a spiral, I’d send whatever I was obsessing over to a trusted friend and ask, “Am I overthinking this?” They’d either talk me down or remind me what actually matters. Things often get clearer when borrow someone else’s brain for a minute.
Moving my body. Sounds basic, but stepping away for a walk, a stretch, or literally shaking it out helped reset my brain. It interrupted the rumination loop and reminded me I’m an embodied person, not a productivity robot.
Those small tweaks made heavy issues feel lighter.
When we are less encumbered, we can move. This is how thought turns into action.
If you can relate…
Start with a little awareness, a little curiosity, and some boundaries. You don’t have to stop obsessing overnight (or at all). But you can change your relationship to these thoughts and redirect that energy toward something more useful.
Let’s not let the details run the show.
👉 Want more deep dives like this? Here’s where I unpack the messy, human side of doing meaningful work: Hold That Thought…
